Alone

She didn’t know what the hell went wrong….

It was the “he said, she said” thing rearing its ugly head

He said he was only trying to help; she tried to play along

But then she couldn’t take it any longer; she had to take a stand

Her line was drawn in the sand; she needed her space; things were too hot

But for him, this was never what he intended; this was not what he planned

Scratching his head and his heart breaking; he pulls back, recoiling from the assault

 

She focused on herself and the twelve steps with her sponsor and hung up on the first

Powerlessness, unmanageability, and surrender were heavily emphasized

How she gets into muck and stench of others’ garbage; the realization was like a cloudburst

Rain falling from the skies in a raging torrent – why was this such a surprise?

And with that realization, it was easy for her to let it all go….ALL

 

She focused on her life, one day at a time, one moment at a time, listened to her Higher Power

She had “lost” her Higher Power – not quite – she just didn’t recognize his voice

Meanwhile, without realizing it, she was seeing him at work on her desk in the bouquets of flowers

He was also in the minds, hearts, and souls of those around her…in their voices

Then came the one voice she had long forgotten about – the one inside her own heart

The little voice that told her what’s right, what’s wrong, what’s good, what to avoid

And that voice began to speak and it grew…louder….and louder in her heart

But what she didn’t realize was that there was a problem – one that she was trying to avoid

 

In the meantime, she gained a message from him  – asking if life had gotten better 

And that he was sorry for what he had said and done; he meant no harm

To her surprise, she was not angry, not upset; she welcomed the letter

But then came….a phone call; he wanted to hear her….it disarmed her with his charm

No arguments, no “he said, she said” garbage and it was definitely better

His final words to her?  “I love you” said as if he wouldn’t hear from her again

She responded in kind and to her surprise, she meant it; the problem?  He’s with another.

She called her sponsor immediately – pure program – and relayed all to rebalance again

 

But then the next day began and for her, it all started off wrong, all wrong

One problem solved and another one appeared; that one solved another one came

Finally, she had to take a stand; a painful one and didn’t feel good about this game

She reported it out but still her “little voice” told her more was wrong than before

An acknowledgment from her CEO for her hard work…but that little voice was now screaming

Oh, something was definitely wrong….

She left but her heart was aching; her mind was filled with worry, she saw her past

A past filled with criticisms for not getting along with others; she feeling like an outcast

She called her sponsor and she only added to that pain, suffering, and worry

The one who called her “his best friend” was nowhere to be found….he understood

But he was busy; she couldn’t intrude.  Not for her trivial concerns laced in a story

 

Woman in depression   As the afternoon grew into evening, the emotions grew and she was wishing for attention

A hug, reassurance, words of comfort that she had done nothing wrong.  Or, was that the issue?

Among the arguments was that she was in the wrong place; she was second-guessing herself

She steadfastly refused to consider this possibility….until now.  He may have been right.

But she had nowhere to go; she was alone.  No one to hold her, to tell her she was alright

No one to reassure her, to comfort her – she took that leap out on her own; she must face herself

And this night, tears will fall….and she will be alone reaching out for her higher power

With a box of tissues, hoping he’ll hear her….

 

 

 

Photo by Abi Lewis on Unsplash